i made a thing
One of the most ridiculous concepts that society promotes is that we should always consider “the other side”, that we should always compromise, that the truth is always “in the middle. The problem with this is that it ignores how many stances and opinions are completely not compatible with each other.
Feminism, anti-racism, and other similar issues are not a friendly debate. They are a struggle that’s life and death for millions (or, realistically, billions) of people. They are struggles whose only eventual outcome is the eradication of what they fight against (patriarchy, white supremacy, etc). There is no compromise, there is no “truth in the middle”, and there’s certainly no “agree to disagree” about it. Either patriarchy is abolished completely or it isn’t at all; either white supremacy becomes a ridiculous relic of the past as it should be or people of color continue to suffer or be murdered in its name.
These movements can’t “consider the other side” because the other side is actively trying to eradicate them and dehumanize their participants. To agree to be dehumanized under new conditions is not acceptable. MRAs and “equalists” often wonder why feminists won’t debate them, but it’s because they don’t understand that they’re the enemy, not a like-minded person with a different approach.
Feministing just released their online report, #femfuture: Online Revolution. Check it out here.
Proud to be part of the feminist bloggersphere ^_^
fuck anyone who tries to discredit the movement by calling it “tumblr social justice feminism” or whatever
I don’t have an objection to high heels. I have an objection to women being pressured into wearing high heels. I have an objection to the idea that you have to wear high heels to be beautiful or sexy or feminine. I have an objection to the fashion trends that make it almost impossible for a woman to be really dressy without high heels. I have a powerful objection to any expectation or demand whatsoever that women wear high heels in the workplace. I have a powerful objection to any social or economic pressures that make wearing high heels necessary for women to advance in their careers, or that give women who do wear high heels a career advantage over women who don’t. (As is the same case in some careers. And not just fashion.)
When men feel inconsequential, it’s easier to blame women than it is to confront patriarchy-the true source of the diminishment and lack of meaning in so many men’s lives. When men feel unloved and disconnected, it’s easier to accuse women of not loving them well enough than it is to consider men’s own alienation from life. It’s easier to think of women as keeping men from the essence of their own lives than it is to see how men’s participation in patriarchy can suffocate and kill the life within themselves. It’s easier to theorize about powerful, devouring mothers than to confront the reality of patriarchy.
Beneath the massive denial of men’s power and responsibility and its projection onto women is an enormous pool of rage, resentment, and fear. Rather than look at patriarchy and their place within it, many men will beat, rape, torture, murder, and oppress women, children, and one another. They will wage mindless war and offer themselves up for the slaughter, chain themselves to jobs and work themselves to numbed exhaustion as if their lives had no value or meaning beyond controlling or being controlled or defending against control, and content themselves with half-lives of confused, lost deprivation. What men lack, women didn’t take from them, and it isn’t up to women to give it back.
Allan G. Johnson (via wretchedoftheearth)
What men lack, women didn’t take from them, and it isn’t up to women to give it back.
What men lack, women didn’t take from them, and it isn’t up to women to give it back.
What men lack, women didn’t take from them, and it isn’t up to women to give it back.
(via wretchedoftheearth)
Acknowledging one’s privilege isn’t a bad thing. Denying it is.
(via rampaigehalseyface)
(via stfusexists)
How White LGBTQ People Can Be More Inclusive of People of Color
As a minority group that regularly battles prejudice, violence, and ignorance from governments, hate groups, and the like, LGBTQ people know what it’s like to be discriminated against.
That’s why the gay community tends to pride itself on being anti-discriminatory and accepting of people from all walks of life.
Unfortunately, the gay community is not devoid of casual racism. Even though, in theory, people should know better, certain forms of racism in the LGBTQ community have become so normalized that they get brushed off as minor.
Before I go on, let me define the kind of racism I’m talking about to avoid confusion. Racism, in an institutional sense, is race-based discrimination from a position of power or privilege.
This means that a gay person with white privilege can be racist toward gay people of color and people of color in general.
I’m not talking about mustache twirling, KKK-grade, Hitler level racism that’s so obvious anyone with any sense of human decency would banish it from their mind.
I’m talking about the “little” things, like the fetishization of black men by gay white men, the stigmatization of Asian men by gay men of other races, mainstream LGBTQ campaigns with little racial awareness, and racial “preferences” that can be innocuous, but at times reflect an underlying prejudice.
As normalized as they are, they suck for LGBTQ people of color who are not well represented in either their own racial communities or the mainstream LGBTQ community.
The lack of acceptance from either group puts a strain on how safe LGBTQ people of color feel in a lot of the spaces they occupy.
So if you’re a white and LGBTQ and you want to make sure that LGBTQ spaces are as safe and inclusive for everyone as possible, here are some steps you can take to support people of color and be more racially aware.
1. Be Aware of Intersectionality
Be aware that your experience of being LGBTQ and white is not representative of being lesbian and Asian or gay and latin@, or queer and black. Awareness of intersectionality means recognizing that LGBTQ people of color can be discriminated against not as people of color or as LGBTQ people, but as both simultaneously.
For example, if you’re a gay white woman and you’re already aware of how your gender and sexuality intersect, remember that race is yet another intersection, and not a negligible one. In most cases race is highly visible, apparent from birth, and connected to cultural identity and family affiliation.
2. Don’t Think That Being LGBTQ Lets You Off the Hook for Being Racist
Keeping intersectionality in mind, understand that just because you’ve faced discrimination doesn’t mean you understand every form of discrimination or are immune from being discriminatory yourself.
We all have some form of privilege, and acknowledging your privilege when it comes to race means acknowledging the unconscious ways in which you can also be racist.
In the past, when I called out someone (who happened to be gay) for being racially oblivious, his response was that, as a gay person, he can understand what it’s like to be discriminated against for being black.
Here’s why I disagree with a statement like that: if a person who has directly experienced racism is telling you that you’re being racially oblivious and you dismiss everything they say because “I’ve been discriminated against too,” you’re devaluing the experiences of people of color just as much as the institutions that continue to exclude them.
When LGBTQ people of color call out other people in the community for being racist, they don’t want you to tear your clothes apart and fall to your knees weeping with white guilt.
What they want you to do is check yourself, listen to what they have to say, and be more aware of experiences besides your own.
Seeing casual racism in the LGBTQ community isn’t about demonizing white people or making people paranoid about causing offense.
It’s about making sure we’re all self-aware enough to check our cultural blind spots and truly listen to and value other people’s experiences.
3. Know Casual Racism When You See It
What does casual racism look like in LGBTQ spaces? A lot like casual racism everywhere else.
Casual racism thinks mixed race people are “exotic,” penis size is determined by race according to “some studies” that probably don’t exist, black women are aggressive, and just about every other common racial stereotype under the sun.
Really, stereotypes fuel casual racism in all its forms.
Casual racism also thinks that LGBTQ people have transcended all responsibility for dealing with racial issues.
For example, if you’re a queer person of color who wants to vocalize a racial concern in a predominantly white queer space and casual racism rears its head, you could be accused of being divisive (extra irony points if you were pointing out divisiveness that actually exists).
Sometimes casual racism masquerades as inclusion or open mindedness. For example, there are some gay people who go out of their way to date someone of another race just to say they’ve done it.
Such gays then receive the Congratulatory Cookie of Open Mindedness from people of color for letting us sleep with them.
But not really, because dating someone because of their race is as ridiculous as rejecting someone because of their race.
The same applies to predominately white gay groups that go out of their way to snag token people of color (oblivious to the fact that these spaces don’t always feel inclusive to the people of color in question).
Tokenism may seem progressive on its surface, but it’s really just another form of othering.
So if you see casual racism, remember it. And talk about it.
Notice if you’re ever guilty of it and, if you are, take responsibility for it.
I would say explain it to other white LGBTQ people, but it’s frustrating when it takes a white person saying the same thing people of color have been saying for ages to convince other white people to change their actions.
Instead, tell them to take the race related concerns of LGBTQ people of color seriously – as in listen to us.
As LGBTQ people ,we get silenced all the time, told we’re too sensitive, told not to flaunt our sexuality.
Sexual minorities of color can find themselves silenced further when their concerns about race are dismissed by the predominantly white, mainstream LGBTQ community.
Let’s keep working to change that.
What are some other ways we can help make spaces more inclusive of LGBTQ people of color? Please share in the comments below!
Jarune Uwujaren is a Contributing Writer for Everyday Feminism. A Nigerian-American recent graduate who’s stumbling towards a career in writing, Jarune can currently be found drifting around the DC metro area with a phone or a laptop nearby. When not writing for fun or profit, Jarune enjoys food, fresh air, good books, drawing, poetry, and sci-fi.
thorinpineshield submitted to stfu-moffat:
My name is Jenny and at the moment I am planning a video project about the friend zone and how it is damaging to women, and I was hoping you could publish this so I can reach a wider audience that might be interested to get help with it.
It will focus on how, while the term itself is not sexist, the implications and actions behind the name can be extremely upsetting and misogynistic. This video will involve internet quotes (from Urban Dictionary, possibly articles and Tumblr posts if the OP allows me to quote them), myself speaking about my own opinions of the friend zone and outlining what it is/how it is used to victimise men and villify women.
I’m hoping that this video will also involve the opinions of other people - my internet friends and maybe some people I know in real life. (If I can find any adults who know what the friend zone is I also hope to ask them for their help.)
If you’re interested in recording a short clip of your opinion on the friend zone or would like to add your input, please contact me. I’m not sure when the video would be made, or how much interest this will get (if there’s too much, not all the clips would be used), but it would be really great, as if I do this properly then it might be able to go into a portfolio I am trying to build that will help further my career in the film/TV industry.
Male interest would also be especially helpful, as I don’t want this video to be all about the female viewpoint and I don’t want to be accused of misandry, because I don’t hate men at all (just be aware that this video does focus on the anti-feminist perceptions of the friend zone and though I’m going to try hard to make it just, generalisation might be a problem).
Thank you xo
PS: the video would also touch upon issues like female opinions and desires being unimportant compared to males, objectification of women, and slut shaming, and how these things relate to the friend zone/why it’s bad. If you want to be involved but do not want to be in the video, you could get in touch with me and I will give you my email address, and you can send me your feelings on the matter which I would read out.
Attacking femaleness, deriding ‘girly stuff’ and rolling your eyes at ‘women’s issues’ declaring yourself a ‘tomboy’ who gets along better with men because women are silly or pretty or whatever these are expressions of internalized sexism. If that’s the way you feel about your own sex you’ll be doomed to feel inferior no matter what you achieve in life.
11 Signs You’re A Men’s Rights Activist
[CW: misogyny, slut shaming, rape culture]
Text (would be legible on actual shirt):
1. You have no problem with the gender wage gap. But you hate having to pay for dates.
2. You insist that it’s a scientifically proven fact that men are stronger than women. But you complain about society believing that it’s worse for a man to hit a woman than for a woman to hit a man.
3. You believe that the age of consent is unfair and that there’s nothing wrong with having sex with teenage girls. But when you find out that a teenage girl enjoys sex, you believe she’s the biggest slut in the world.
4. You hate when a woman automatically assumes that a man is a douchebag before getting to know him. But when you like a woman who likes another man, you assume he’s a douchebag just because he’s not you.
5. You believe that if women want equality, they should be drafted into the military. But you also believe that the military is not a place for women.
6. You hate when women assume that men are like wild animals. But you believe that a woman who doesn’t cover up and make herself invisible to men is just like someone wearing a meat suit around wild animals.
7. You hate the fact that men are bullied for not conforming to their male gender roles. But when you find out that a man disagrees with your beliefs about women’s rights, your immediate response is to try to emasculate him by comparing him to a woman as an insult.
8. You hate when women assume that there are no nice guys. But you call yourself a nice guy and act like it’s a rare quality that should cause women to be all over you.
9. You hate when women assume that men just want to get laid. But when you find out that a man is a feminist, you assume that he’s just doing it to get laid.
10. You hate when women make generalizations about all men. But when a woman calls you out for being sexist, you claim that all men think like you.
11. You insist that women should be responsible for protecting themselves from being raped. But when they follow the one piece of advice that actually works, which is being aware of red flags, you complain about them assuming that all men are rapists.
Tropes Vs. Women in Video Games
Nine months after her successful Kickstarter campaign, Anita Sarkeesian unveils the much anticipated pilot episode of the Tropes Vs. Women in Video Games series, which examines how video games often portray female characters as someone who needs to be rescued.
